Born to Earth
~July 19, 1980~
Born To Heaven
~October 4, 2002~
Lacie collected Dreamsicles and Turtles!
She had several hundred dreamsicles but
not that many turtles..... I sent one of her first
Angel Dreamsicles to the monument company
and an artist etched it into the stone it is of an
Angel holding a baby with a teddy bear.
She was born July 19 1980, my baby, she had
2 older sisters Tina who was 14 years old when
she was born and like a second Mother to her and
Tiffin who was 10 years old. So you can imagine she
was the center of our world.
Lacie's Father and I were divorced when she was
3 years old and he choose not to be a part
of her life, although I tried for many
years to encourage him (and even begged him
at times to try to build a relationship
with her he never did). So I raised her
by myself with the help of her sisters.
She was always wanting to please people
when she was younger and I guess you
could say she was spoiled, but then
that was ok with us.
Tina my oldest got married 2 weeks after her high
school graduation and Lacie was 3 years old
and a flower girl. I will never forget when
she and her new husband started
to leave and everyone was throwing rice
( this was before the days of bubbles) Lacie
kind of got lost in the crowd and she didn't
know about the rice so she started
to throw rocks and when I realized she
was standing all alone and crying I
went to her and said " What's wrong baby?"
She replied " I threw rocks at my Tina
and hurt her because she was cryng."
I tried to make her understand that she
did not hurt Tina but that Tina was just
sad because she was leaving.
All Lacie's life she just wanted to make
people like her. she had a weight problem
for years and was always on a diet.
I think she felt that maybe her Dad would
love her if she looked different. She was
very active in a lot of things in school,
the band, girls clubs and was loved by so
many, but she always wanted to be a
majorette in the school band and tried out
several times but was never chosen and I
think it was that she was not a size 4 or 6
but a size 14 or 16, people can be so cruel.
Every time she tried and didn't make it I
saw her spirit die a little.
While she was in High School she worked part
time at the local Wal Mart and helped me pay
for her car, she knew it was hard for me being
a single parent and we only got help from her
Father when we sued him in court for Child Support.
I won't try to say that she was a perfect person
we had our differences just like any Mother and
teenage daughter, but she never did drugs, or
any of the horrible and tragic things some
teens get involved in she was just a good and
very sensitive child.
When Lacie was a senior she started dating Jamie
and about a year after graduation when she was
19 they started to live together.
Well we had some major arguments about this but
in time I saw the devotion they had for each
other and they became engaged and started
to build a life together. Lacie and Jamie
started to build their dream house.
We also had some arguments about this, I
would say when are you two getting married
and why are you building the house now?
Lacie said, "Mother if we can make it
through building this house we
can make it through anything."
And what a house they built.
It has 6 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms,
a dining room kitchen, breakfast area,
mud room and all kinds of decks and
porches. I said why are you building
this so big? Again she let me have it!
She said it's my house and this is
what I want. We want lots of children
and I want a place for you and for
Jamie's mother (Ruby) to have so that
when the time comes you all can live
with us and we will take care of you.
Well this shut me up ....
Jamie moved into the house alone 3
months after Lacie died.
When Lacie was 20 she started becoming
very interested in Bariatric Surgery.
This is the weight loss surgery that
is all the rage now. The one Al Roker had.
I was a nurse and was apprehensive about
this so I started getting very involved
in the program at the hospital that
I worked in and we attended all the support
group meetings and did all kinds of
research. The program at our hospital
was very successful, but still we waited.
After 2 years Lacie got approval from
the insurance company. She was having
problems with high blood pressure, sleep apnea,
joint pain, and there was a strong
history of diabetes in her father's
family and a strong history of cancer.
A lot of studies have linked these
problems to obesity. I'll never forget
the day she called to tell me she had
the approval, she was so happy she
cried and the people at BCBS cried
with her. She told me she felt this
was going to change her life and she
just didn't want to live being heavy
anymore. She thought this was her
last chance. Before anyone passes
judgement on her decision you need
to understand this was not the easy
way out but the hardest decision
she had ever had to make in her
short life. Lacie had tried every
diet, diet pill and weight loss
plan you could ever imagine. Jamie
always told her that he loved her
and this was her decision but size
didn't change the way he felt but
he would support her and love her
no matter what. Her sisters were
worried and so was I but we
supported her.
Also Lacie had started to work at this
same hospital that I did and she loved
it so much. She worked in admissions
and in some of the outpatient clinics.
She made so many new friends and people
loved her. She was always so kind to
everyone, I think she always knew
how cruel people had been to her over
the years and she didn't ever want
to treat people the way she had been
treated. An example was the help
she gave one elderly Lady with a
referal appointment and the daughter
of this Lady wrote Lacie the nicest
letter praising her for her help. One of
the other employees found out about
this and nominated Lacie as a STAR
Employee and she won this award but she
never knew it , the award came
to the hospital the day Lacie died.
On Sept 30th 2002 she had the surgery and
everything went great. she was up walking
the next day. Then for some reason the
day after she developed pneumonia and
the next day although she still walked
she was so weak and started having an
elevated temperature. On the morning of
Oct 4th, she was still weak but had no
temp and I even fed her some breakfast.
The Doctors took her back to do CT
scans and decided that in order to let
her rest to put her on a ventilator
for 24 hours so that the machine could
breath for her and expand her lungs so
that the pneumonia would clear up better.
At 6:30 pm something started to go wrong.
I left her for 5 minutes to go lock my
office and before I got back she crashed.
I sat in the door to her room and begged
her not to leave me and for awhile she
answered me in my mind. She kept saying,
"I'm trying mama" but then she would
not talk to me anymore I knew she was
gone long before the doctors stopped
working with her. Gone forever and only
22 years old. We were all there. Her
sisters, Jamie ,and his mom, my mother,
brother,sister in law, and a hospital
full of friends of Lacie's.
Since Lacie had worked there word that
she was taking a turn for the worst
had spread and every MD on staff that
was in town came, the people from the
busniess office, housekeeping,
dietary, maintence, and even people
in Administration. She was loved so
much and everyone was in shock and
I still am.
When you look at the pictures of
"My Lacie" you can see what a beautiful
person she was, she has only been gone
for 29 weeks and it is like it was
a minute ago, please tell anyone
considering having this surgery Lacie's
story. While it has helped so many the
truth is it is very dangerous and people
need to be aware of all the possible outcomes.
To my dear friend Ernie
and her beautiul Lacie
Updated 1~29~2005
Ann
